The first few days

Now that it's a month out, I figured I owed folks an update. To save time and brain space, the first couple of posts are simply copied and pasted from another website that's specific for hysterectomies. It's littered with Google ads and constantly tries to sell you products and membership, but if you can avoid that, it's pretty good.

The site itself is wonderful for peer support and basic information, but I found the owners and moderators pretty homophobic. Most of the women on the site aren't so bad, at least not outwardly, but since the owners seem to be jerks, I refuse to buy any of their products or support them in any way financially.

The site is also VERY middle-America and oh so vanilla and G rated. Knowing me, it can get really tough to try and find the words that the auto-censor will accept! Here I changed my words back to MY words, fuck censoring.

Posted on 2/11:

Hey everyone! I'm not yet home but I wanted to post my surgery story and let everyone know I'm already feeling so much better! And I'm sorry this is so long.

We got to the hospital at 8:15 in the morning and were in the pre-op interview area by 8:30 or so. Since my partner was really stressing, I had asked a friend to come and be there to support her. My feeling was that as long as she's supported, I can focus on myself and will be ok. Our friend was with us until I was taken into the OR - through the interview, OR holding and everything. Great friend.

When the anesthesiologist came into the OR holding area to ask questions, my partner knew her and finally was a lot calmer and felt more secure knowing I was in good hands. Just before leaving holding, they injected a bit of Versed and I started to get loopy. The last thing I remember was an arm in blue scrubs reaching over me to attach sensors, equipment and whatnot. I barely remember PACU (post-op), but know I asked for pain meds more than once. I remember going up to my room, ouching at every bump in the hallway and elevator, dreading the transfer to the bed, and holding onto my belly and dressing, wondering why it seemed so large.

I got up to my room around 2:30 or 3pm and by 4:00 had my first visitor. A good friend was in town for a meeting and just happened the timing was perfect. I was still quite stoned, but it was fine. The rest of the afternoon I was in and out of sleep, a combination of pain, effects of anesthesia, general hospital noise and the incessant taking of vitals made for a bad night. My roommate had the same surgery and poor woman, was puking for 3 days from the anesthesia. I had a PCA set up and kept hitting the button as much as possible, mostly for pain, but also hoping I would be stoned enough to just sleep and not be bothered by routine hospital stuff and the nurses in and out for my roomie. For the most part, it worked. Dilaudid was my best friend.

Later that evening, my doc and the doc who assisted him came in and I found out why the bandage was so large. Once he saw the monsters, the planned bikini cut was not an option and he had to make a vertical cut. I got filleted from just below my belly button to my pubes. I think there's something like 18 staples. My uterus was the size of a 19 week pregnancy and the majority of the external (pedunculated) tumor mass was shaped like a dumbell, spanning the height/length of the left side of my uterus, following along the tubes at the top and down the other side. The left side was about the size and shape of a football, the right, a smaller nerf football. All together, probably about the size of a soccer ball. He also had to do some digging since it had spread to alongside my va&ina (trying to avoid the snerts). Hence the vertical incision.

I had also decided to have some fun with my doc and the OR staff and put a temporary tattoo saying "don't fuck up" across my belly. They totally loved it, took pictures, he even posed with thumbs up. He said he was going to bring it to the next conference that talked about marking the surgical site. It also became the talk of the floor when I went up. Unfortunately they had to tape over it so when the dressing was removed Saturday morning, most of it was gone. Made the point though and I had my fun. Speaking of removing the dressing...I tend to be pretty hairy and hadn't shaved or been shaved down there. The tape, however, was massive and after the doc tried to be gentle, I finally told her to just cut the hair. It was bad. Hopefully the growing back in won't be too brutal. That's enough for now..will post more later and explain why I'm not yet home.

Posted on 2/13:

I'm 6 days out from surgery, 7 if you count surgery day, and FINALLY going home tomorrow. Because of my disability, nobody was sure how having my abdominal muscles filleted would impact my ability to walk, move and generally get around so I went to a short term rehab for a few days. I've been going fucking nuts here! Since it's primarily a nursing home, I'm one of the youngest people here and feel like I'm being treated like a child. They definitely infantalize you here and assume you can't do something rather than encourage independence. I can't even take a fucking shower more than once a week here!

It's been good in that it has forced me to take it slowly post-op, rather than my usual 100MPH, and physical and occupational therapy are getting me equipment I should have had for years. I also haven't had to worry about cooking, shopping or anything along those lines, so it's also been good in that respect. The prisoner feeling, however, doesn't make up for it. I'm SOOOO looking forward to getting home tomorrow, seeing my doggies and getting back to my normal life - not to mention a nice, long hot shower - I'm almost ready to cry. Can't wait for independence!!!