Chemical assault

I'm not a big one for medications. Ok, if I need them, I take them, but if they can be avoided by using herbal remedies, alternative medicine or any other means, then I avoid them like the plague. If you saw my lifestyle, and pharmacy bills, in the past year or so, you would never know this is my philosophy. I was on fertility drugs for 7 months. That alone is enough to do major chemical assault on one's body. Then add the Nexium, 3 asthma meds and an anti-depressant...and you'd think I was supporting the pharmaceutical execs.

My nervous system has been taken over by a chemical assault from this medication I'm on, Lyrica, and I fucking hate it. On Monday the dosage was upped to the maximum, despite pretty much knowing this isn't working and I'm going to have to try yet another medication. My left palm has been itching like a motherfucker for a month. Everyone keeps telling me the old folk tale that an itchy left hand means I've got money coming in. Ok, great. Show me the fucking money, but in the meantime, it's driving me fucking NUTS. My left leg and foot have gotten weak, at least feeling that way if not actually weak. Today I was buzzing like I was stoned, feeling like my head was detached from my body and hyper as hell. My body was shaking, buzzing, hyper. I was having ocular migraines, not harmful or painful, but definitely bizarre and it makes driving a bit of a challenge. Needless to say, I want off this chemical roller coaster, but I'm sticking it out if it means I can get off my herbal medication and get my settlement from worker's comp.

Speaking of The Evil Empire, I finally emailed my attorney today, asking if my little plan has any hope of success. I await her reply. Not sure what I'm going to do if she says no, it won't help. On the one hand, I've never actually had the chance to sit in front of a judge and tell my complete story. In the almost 18 years of this shit, NEVER had the chance, and dammit, I want to do it. I want them to know what they've put me through. On the other hand, it would feel good (I think) to be able to let it all go and move on with my life. Then there's my fantasy of blowing the fucking place to smithereens. I would never do it of course, I'm not into the destruction of life, including my own, but just seeing the building explode would give me such satisfaction. I'd sit there with a bag of marshmallows, maybe a hot dog or two, and roast them over the burning rubble, awash in the knowledge that at least one link in the bureaucratic chain was cut. Ah, but I digress.

So yeah, I want to get off this chemical rollercoaster and stop the assault on my body. Give me back my medication of choice. It works, it doesn't destroy my body, and IT WORKS.

Tagging myself

I decided to tag myself and complete this meme. Ok, so it took me longer than I expected...this is hard!

Four non-interpreter jobs I've had:
1. EMT
2. Roofer/contract worker
3. short order cook
4. deli clerk

Four Authors, Books, or Series I read over and over:
1. Chronicles of Narnia/CS Lewis, but for his philosophies, not the religious undertones. I hated to learn about that aspect of his writing.
2. Barbara Kingsolver
3. Oprah books - ok, I'm a sucker for a happy ending
4. Cartoon collections of Dykes to Watch Out For and Bloom County

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Shawshank Redemption
2. A League of Their Own
3. Like Water for Chocolate
4. The Wizard of Oz

Four TV shows I love(d):
1. ER - the earlier seasons were better, but I'm still addicted.
2. 24
3. Nova
4. CBS Sunday Morning

Four places I've lived:
1. Croton-on-Hudson, NY
2. Southampton, NY - I lived there, but didn't live the life
3. Big Pine Key, FL - ok, it was for summer camp, but it was 3 whole summers
4. Danbury, CT

Four places to vacation:
1. Florida Keys
2. Cape Cod - Provincetown
3. Any National Park in the western US
4. Any place where I can visit friends or family

Four sites I visit/use daily:
1. Faggots on the Third Floor
2. The local newspaper here
3. New Mobility Magazine
4. Google

Four people I'd like to meet in person, based on their blogs:
1. Estelle
2. Julie
3. any other blogger...I love meeting online people
4. ??

Four foods I yearn for:
1. Chocolate. In pretty much any form, except dark.
2. COFFEE (can you tell yet I'm a caffeine addict?)
3. a damn good steak, cooked medium rare
4. My cooking. Ok, so it's boasting, but I (and Debbie and all our friends) love my cooking.

Four inventions I'm grateful for:
1. The Internet
2. Radio
3. plastic, although I hate the ecological implications, it's incredibly useful
4. Velcro

Four musical choices for my personal soundtrack:
1. Indigo Girls - especially "Closer to Fine"
2. Laura Nyro
3. Woody Guthrie
4. WFUV

Four nouns that describe me:
1. Organizer - but not organized...ADD has seen to that
2. Crip - yeah, that word...has more of a political/pride impact
3. lesbian
4. Activist

Four Bloggers I'm Tagging:
Why should I tag anyone, I tagged myself.