Planning is real

Ok, so we're jumping into the marriage/civil union thing. Jumping being a relative term. We're doing it on/for our 20th anniversary in October.

We've been occasionally doing something or planning some aspect of it for over a year, but now it's actually going to happen THIS YEAR. We've done lots of stuff over the past couple of years, mostly talking but also concrete things, but it's all been kind of in the distance. Almost surreal. Now it's really tangible.

Someone today called me a bride. Groom I could see, but bride? Just because I'm female? Doesn't make sense to me. I don't see myself, never saw myself, as a bride. I'm sure as hell not going to wear a dress of any kind. Tried it. I look like I'm in drag. Bad drag at that.

We have a date to meet with the wedding location and caterer - one in the same - on June 7th and taste the selections we'd like, look around, and discuss costs and options. It's one of the only places that meets our criteria. We don't want a traditional wedding place. Ideally it would be a park of some kind, but being in October, there needs to be a building involved if the weather is cold or crappy. Not many parks have buildings. We also don't want a church or temple, since either one wouldn't respect one of our beliefs (I grew up Jewish and don't want a church, D is Episcopal and doesn't want a temple). We also can't afford to hire both a rabbi and a minister. The place also must be completely accessible since we have friends and family who are disabled and it also needs to be Deaf friendly, meaning open spaces, good lighting, and clear sight lines. Since we're not doing a church or temple, it makes sense to have ceremony and reception in one location. We're getting down to the wire in terms of what meets our criteria, what we can afford and what's available. This is pretty much it.

The food better be good.

Planning ahead department...

we went to California last summer and did a couple of winery tours. At that time, we decided that we'd join a wine club with the idea of already having and bringing lots of wine to our reception with the idea of ultimately saving money. I don't know how much we'll actually save, but we've got lots of wine and champagne. At least we can get ourselves and lots of our friends drunk for a long time.

We've looked at, but not yet decided on or bought, wedding rings. We already have someone in place as a DJ. Ok, so he's also D's co-worker, but he's hired. We also have someone to officiate, a friend of many years from the Clearwater Festival. I talked to her last year and will make sure we're still on when I see her at this year's festival.

We sent save the date cards - did those while I was recuperating from surgery - and have a box of do-it-yourself wedding invitations from Staples at the ready. The card stock paper of the save the date cards didn't go through the printer here and I had to bring it to Staples, I hope the invitations don't give me the same problem.

We also have, well, I want it to be the case, that one of the songs, ideally the recessional, be Woody Guthrie's Union Maid. When I think of a civil union, I can't help singing the chorus.

Aside from the DJ, we're also going to tell everyone to bring any instruments they may have. The DJ will do his thing for a while, then we'll have a good old fashioned jam/music circle session.

Yeah, we're old hippies. Get over it.