Can I get a urine sample please?

Debbie had her knee surgery on Thursday. It went well and the doc removed a bone chip, rather than repairing torn cartilage as originally suspected. It was done at a surgery center, rather than the hospital, and for whatever reason, she was the only case that day. We had the attention of no less than 4 nurses, joking and goofing with us the whole time.

One nurse was particularly, um, stoopit. Or a stickler for stupid rules, or whatever. She insisted Debbie take a urine pregnancy test.

Initially all she asked for was a urine sample, but something she muttered, I forget what now, made me realize she wanted the sample for a pregnancy test.

Me: Is this to test for pregnancy?
Stoopit Nurse: Well yes, we have to make sure before we give her any medication.
Me: She's not pregnant, we can guarantee that.
SN: How do you know?
Me: We're lesbians.
SN: Well lesbians can still get pregnant, ya know. There's plenty that have children.
Me: Well yes, we can, but you have to make a concerted effort. It's not just a timing mistake, a hole in the condom, or a forgotten pill.
Debbie: You have to have sex with a man.
SN: But I still need to make sure Debbie isn't pregnant
Debbie: You have to have sex with a man. Trust me, I'm not pregnant.
Me: She's 52, menopausal, and a lesbian. Pregnancy isn't an option.
SN: Oh, she's already gone through menopause? Well then, I guess we can forgo the test.
Me: It should have been let go when we told you, for obvious reasons, there's no chance of pregnancy.
SN: But I had to make sure.
Us: dumbfounded look
Colleague of SN: Debbie could have just signed a waiver. I don't know why she was so insistent.

Neither do we.

So, surgery went well and she's already up and walking without a cane for short periods of time. We went food shopping yesterday and by the middle of the trek, she was definitely beyond sore (no shit) and ended up using a motor cart in the last store. Today she's doing nothing and she goes back to work tomorrow.

And for the record, Debbie is not pregnant.